Last week, two Washington Post reporters wrote about the Koch Brothers having the largest interest in Canadian oil sands. After a review from PowerlineBlog.com’s John Hinderaker, the article from WaPo writers Steven Mufson and Juliet Eilperin was thoroughly debunked.
I wrote about it here, and then discussed on my radio show. As Progressives in the media and in the party elite have learned, attacks on the Koch Brothers are good for business. Democrats have had a fundraising surge when mentioning the Koch Brothers in their emails.
During the show, my chatroom decided that it would be fun if they started creating fake Washington Post headlines that somehow blamed the Koch Brothers for all the world’s ills – past, present and future. What they put together was pure gold, and I share them with you now.
Here are The Best Fake Washington Post Headlines Attacking the Koch Brothers:
“Koch iceberg hits Titanic; ship lost”
“Japanese Attack Pearl Harbor – Koch Brothers Asleep at the Wheel”
“Koch ammunition fails at Little Bighorn; cavalry unit slain”
“Koch former CEO Benedict Arnold implicated in treason scandal”
“Koch Bros Give Rise to New Sexism With Use of Term ‘Bossy'”
“Duke loses in first round; Koch pep-talk blamed”
“Kochs behind nefarious movement to call ‘pop’, ‘coke'”
“Koch Bros Deny Obama Victory in Getting Olympics for Chicago”
“Gun Deaths Rise in Chicago Due to Gun-Friendly Koch Brothers”
“Oh My God! Koch killed Kenny!”
“Great Lakes at 90% Freezing Level – Caused by Koch Brothers’ Carbon Footprint”
“Koch Bros Plant Wheelchair-Bound Man at Biden Event. Laughs Ensue”
“Koch Bros Unable to Prove Not on Grassy Knoll”
“Michelle Obama’s Mother Chews Out Chinese Hotel Staff. Koch Brothers’ Mints on Pillows to Blame”
“Koch Bros Behind Fake Moon Landing” – WaPO, 7/20/1969
“Gary Powers’ U-2 Shot Down Over The Soviet Union – Koch Brothers’ On-Board Telemetry Called into Question”
“Zeppelin crashes in Lakehurst, NJ; Koch landing ropes blamed for inferno”
“Koch Bros Advise Trailblazers Pass on Jordan, Draft Sam Bowie Instead” – WaPo, 1984
“REVEALED: Koch Brothers penned most of the songs on Miley Cyrus’ latest album”
“Buckner’s Error Gives Mets Gave Six of the 1986 World Series – Koch Brothers’ High-Top Sneakers to Blame”
“FLASH! Secret funding discovered for Galactic Empire, Koch Brothers suspected”
“Koch Bros own driving school used by Justin Bieber”
“Koch-owned company, Space Station Exhaust Port Manufacturing and Installation, found to have extensive Rebel ties” — WaPo, a long, long time ago.
Koch Bros money behind White Sox throwing 1919 World Series
“Koch Bros Invent New Music Style Called ‘Disco'” – WaPo, 1976
“Black Death ravages Europe; faulty Koch mousetraps at fault”
“Koch Bros Pen Screenplay for Ishtar”
BREAKING: Koch brothers fund “Live Sound of Music w/Carrie Underwood”
“Joanie no longer loves Chachi; Koch brothers implicated in love-triangle”
“Koch Bros Funding MSNBC… MSNBC not in on Joke”
“Secret owners of teleprompter company found to be Koch Bros”
“Koch Bros Revealed to be “Real Killer” in OJ Slayings” – WaPo, 1995
“Koch Bros designed ObamaCare website”
“Koch Brothers memo surfaces: ‘Firefly sucks! Cancel it!'”
“REVEALED: Koch Bros Let the Dogs Out”
“Yoko Ono believed to be long-lost Koch daughter;Beatles still broken up”
“Koch Bros Encouraged Jerry Jones to keep Tony Romo”
“Horse with no name still can’t find one, Koch Brothers will not reveal to America”
“Chris Christie loses 100 lbs. Koch Brothers find it and gives it back”
“Koch Industries main supplier of Charlie Sheen’s tiger blood”
“4 Cops Behind Rodney King Beatings? All Koch Bros Cousins” – WaPo, 1992
“Jim Morrison Found Dead in Paris in a Koch Brothers Hotel” – WaPo 1971
“Koch Bros Deprive Indian Tribe of Fair Value on Manhattan Island”
“Koch brothers secretly making deal with Russia to buy back Alaska in exchange for drilling rights”
“Koch Bros firearm used in ‘Old Yeller’ finale”
“Neither Han nor Greedo fired first. It was Charles Koch”
“Koch Brothers Are Actually Sauron And Darth Vader”
“Koch Bros Killed Sonny, Fredo Takes Fall”
“Koch Bros Developed Taco Bell’s Enchirito”
“Koch brother pens Seinfeld finale episode”
“Koch Bros Select Ben Affleck as New Batman”
“Peanut Allergy a Koch Bros Devised Plot, Study Finds”
“Koch-sponsored plan to tip over the island of Guam thwarted by hero congressman Hank Johnson”
“Koch brothers implicated in Jimmy Carter’s malaise”
“Nick Cannon Discovered & Promoted by Koch Bros”
“Atlantis sunk, Koch Brothers sought for questioning”
Have your own? Put them in the comments below. Many thanks to everyone in the chat who contributed to this list. They include JBrenn, Mr_Fastbucks, DorothyGrissom, BWilliams, SurlyNYCon, Prue61, bostonrandy, PrairieDogSD, BOOB_Level, Jimmiebjr and anyone else I may have forgotten.
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